If you think you’re bored with Labneh, you simply don’t know what to do with it. If you think sour cream will grant you a green card, that’s South-Western-Hemisphere material – and guess what – that’s third world too.
I would like us to gracefully give a moment of silence to our Third-World-ness and take it in with all what Labneh can offer – sensually, of course. The moment can be as long as you wish, just read through when you’re done.
As usual, this is not going to be rocket science. This is even simpler than anything we’ve done together, but that’s the point, right? Make easy things entertainingly delicious and eat them guiltlessly – AND – have enough cash to buy ourselves some faux-bijoux.
Anyways, music – shall we?
Yasmine Hamdan – Shouei (EPI remix)
Yasmine Hamdan – Deny (Holmes Price remix)
The XX – Fiction (Liar remix)
The XX – Chained (Liar remix)
For the first scene, you will need four eggs, three tablespoons of Labneh, some olives and olive oil. Sometimes I add some green pepper and basil at the end. Keep that in mind, and obviously salt and pepper. You can use any brand of Labneh you want. We’re shamelessly broke here, and we just hope we’re rich by the time Dolce Labneh hits the market.
Step one: Make an Omelet. I like my omelets predominantly white; four egg whites for two yolks. If you’re a yolk fan, enjoy your cholesterol-inflicted life later, and use whole eggs. Beat the eggs in a bowl and add some salt and pepper. You can add whatever herbs you like here. Obviously, I want you to use your herb garden, but the supermarket has big fake fields that you might want to check out.
Heat the olive oil, add your eggs and make a round omelet. It’s not that hard to make one. Be cool and patient and everything will happen nicely. If it breaks, refer to contingency plan below. If not, continue as follows. In another bowl, add the Labneh, olive oil, thinly diced green pepper and salt. You can add some chili pepper too, life’s short.
Move the omelet onto a plate, and paste the Labneh mix along the diameter across the centerfold as if you’re making a sandwich. You’ve made a sandwich before, right? Fold flap one inwards to cover the Labneh, then fold the other closing the omelet. Sprinkle some pepper, press play and enjoy this with some fresh orange juice for breakfast, lunch, dinner or meals with absolutely no need for a name – like Now for example.
Scene two is more elaborate. It is elaborate because…well, why not? Everyone’s had a “Salade Russe” at some point in their lives. My first encounter was at the Beiruti fast food empire, Barbar, and I thought it was just a made-up name for a local nothing. Then I Googled it, and WOAH: it exists!
Nevertheless, that Salade Russe, and later iterations always leave me uneasy, and as Beyoncé says “Give it to Mama,” I decided to give the Salade Russe to mama. It cried, but came back more mature than ever. It came back in Labneh.
So here’s what you need to do. Buy vegetables. Buy cheap vegetables. For this dish you will need cucumbers, tomatoes, green peppers, olives if you insist, herbs, lots of spices, olive oil, salt and 400g of Labneh. If you buy non-fat Labneh this will be a very low calorie meal. It’s just vegetables, people, and you can skip the olive oil if you’re tight on intake.
Chop your cucumbers, tomatoes and green peppers into small cubes. When I say small cubes, I really don’t want you to juice them, but I don’t mean you can throw big chunks either. Around 1 cm in height, width and depth and you’re fine. Mix your Labneh with olive oil, herb, salt and spices. The spices can change this dish drastically so mix and match so you don’t get bored of it. If you get bored of it, send us an email. I’ll teach you how to toughen up and like it again. Add the vegetables to the bowl and mix like a champ. Eat like a champ. You will love it. If you’re one of those who can’t tolerate eating without the carb-base, I recommend you bake some whole-grain pita bread until they’re crisp and use that as your base.
I’m off to try stuffing a Sumac and Labneh mix in baked Zucchinis, but I won’t make you go through this unless it turns out great. You know it will, and so do I – wait for it.